Tuesday, October 21, 2008

No Less Than Three

I realized with a terrible awareness that I could no longer use the parental voice of authority that bade my child respond with unquestioned obedience. I had entered into a new stage with my daughter, married now and with new loyalties, and I had no voice with which to command. I was thrust into a new place without benefit of a transition, and it took a storm named Katrina to lay open the horror that I would have to stand as a stunned witness to the choices my daughter must make for herself and her new family, choices she felt were best, choices I had no control over: to stay or to leave?

Is there a bridge for that gap? How do you fairly separate the fact that although she is grown up and independent and belongs with her chosen partner, she still remains part of a bigger family unit? Does she owe me that in her decision-making process? Should that count for anything? Without her, there would be a hole in my life and in my heart just her size.

1 comment:

Sydney said...

WOW, you describe just beautifully the usually undescribable dilemma of a parent. Mine chose to just grip on to me with white knuckles. At least you are questioning and allowing her room in what must have been a terrifying situation for you.